Should we label ourselves?

In LGBTQ+ spaces, labelling is often an easily polarising. Does it open the gateway to a sense of community and understanding? Or would these labels only create “boxes”, assumptions that socially divide us all?

As a queer person myself and co-founder of RMIT Queer and Alliance Club (RQAC), I’ve spent years listening, sharing, and reflecting on how labels shape our community. In spirit of RMIT Pride Week 2025, and to acknowledge the inclusivity of the LGBTQ+, I’d like to share this piece based on those experiences, both personal and collective.

The power of words

Categorising things is our quickest way of navigating the world around us. It's natural for humans to label things to understand the world we live in. However, things would get much more complicated when it comes to gender and sexuality identity labels. These labels are words that someone might use to describe who they are, like gay, bisexual or trans.

For many, labelling is necessary for them to find social acceptance and a sense of community. The moment of finding out that there are other people who share the same struggles as you is liberating, like an anchor of safety.

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RQAC members celebrating Pride Month at a local event. Photo provided by author.

On another note, it could feel extremely terrifying growing up, knowing that there’s something “different” about you, but you just don’t have the words to describe it. American author and performer Alok Vaid-Menon described language as “to give meaning to concepts as they evolve”. Finding the label that fits you just right will give you the peace of mind after a long time of internalised confusion.

Alok Vaid-Menon, known for their advocacy for gender-nonconformity. Photo by: Eva Schwank

Are labels tying you down?

There are many reasons why people question the existence of labels. Many view them to be restrictive, like a glass box they put over themselves that limits their chances to explore, change and grow. Labels can also be a source of anxiety.

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Humans are multifaceted, complex creatures. Human diversity can’t be neatly sorted into boxes.

Hence, labels should not restrict you. Instead, they should be the stepping stones in your journey of self-discovery. You can drop a label that no longer fits for a new one whenever you’re ready. Your old labels are not wrong; they’re evidence of a natural development process. And I believe that to better understand your heart is the most beautiful thing. I also believe that labels should serve us, not police us! Your choice to adopt a label doesn’t mean you have to act and look exactly like others with the same label.

For instance, when choosing “non-binary” (not identifying as exclusively male or female), you don’t have to dress androgynously (neither masculine nor feminine) to prove that you fit the label. You can present yourself however you want, as long as the identifier feels right to you at heart.

No label? No problem!

Plenty of people reject labels altogether or opt for an umbrella term like “queer” to describe themselves. This approach can feel liberating, especially for those who want to explore their options without boundaries or assumptions.

For some, not labelling is also an act of resistance by pushing back against the social norms that everything about us has to be defined and sorted.

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So... Should we?

I’d say that I’m comfortable and confident in my queerness and am not shy to express it openly. So, it often comes as a surprise to my friends that I’ve battled a lot internally to have things “figured out”. As I did my research for this piece, I realised how I have experienced almost all you could with identifiers.

I grew up as a firstborn daughter. My mum would put me in frilly dresses and style my hair into beautiful braids. I never rejected the label “girl” or "daughter", and I was pleased when someone called me “pretty”.

Me and my Pride pins. Photo provided by author.

Then, in middle school, I had a new obsession with wearing caps backwards. I remembered only choosing the “boy character” in video games because “boys had better-looking clothes” (Yes, my actual reasoning at the time). Around this time, my friends started calling me a “tomboy", and I accepted this label as I grew more and more comfortable with my masculinity.

After experiencing a gut-wrenching first girl crush in 10th grade and some research, I adopted the label “bisexual” for myself. Then, at the start of university, I begin to question my gender identity, as “girl” just didn’t… sound right. I also slowly stopped referring to myself as bisexual. Amidst this identity crisis, I ditched all labels and simply told people I’m “not straight” when asked about my sexuality. It was only last year that I finally felt comfortable labelling myself again, this time as a “lesbian”. I’ve also become much more experimental with my gender expressions and am happier than ever.

So, I believe the correct question to ask yourself is: “Do I want to label myself right now?”

You shouldn’t follow anything or anyone but your heart. You are allowed to freely pick as many labels as you want, change them, drop them, stick with one forever or choose nothing at all.

Be yourself, trust yourself and treat others with respect and kindness!

Story: Written by Nguyen Bao Van, a Professional Communication student. This article does not reflect the views of RMIT Vietnam as an institution.

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26 August 2025

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